I used to have an eating disorder myself but, long story short, I found the weights room and that was that. Even though I am unable to train at present, my 13-year obsession with digits on scales, or not eating for days, or eating miniscule amount, etc. is long gone. It has been gone for nearly ten years and I do not think it will ever come back. I try to help others, when they ask for it, as much as I can.
I am not qualified to speak re professional sports and the etiquette there but I think there is a shift in recent years whereby more and more women are lifting weights and looking after their health, striving to be strong rather than 'skinny' (also not disregaing people who have naturally thinner bodies). By and large, most are still slaves to the trends, as you point out, whatever those trends may be at any particular moment.
Now, what I do not excuse is people's blind following of those trends. You have mentioned it yourself but just because a trend exists does not mean people ought to follow it. We all have heads on our shoulders and, if you are an adult especially, you should reason with yourself. I do not believe in wholly blaming the media for our broken way of looking at ourselves, our ageing, the way we look. I also do not believe in paying more for a Snickers bar so that the masses feel deterred from eating sugar, in a governmental attempt to reduce obesity.
There seems to be this prevailing idea that it is always someone else's fault rather than the individual. But the individual has a responsibility to look after themselves and make informed decisions about their way of life (and this goes way beyond food). If someone decides to inject Botox in their face, that is their prerogative. They can sit and defend themselves by saying that Kylie Jenner made them but Kylie Jenner has failed to make many others inject Botox in their faces.
P.S. The most unkind comments and / or looks I have ever gotten have always been from women...(rather than men). Also, most women magazines that tells us what to eat, when, how feature articles by other women and are edited by women. Women, collectively as a group, need to take responsibility about the way we behave towards one another (rather than blame it on the other, i.e. men).
Just my two cents but thank you for raising some valid points and providing a platform for discussion.
Peeling back the curtain on that dichotomy of being a female athlete where strength and performance are critical and in competition with societal standards was eye opening.
I hope you’ll do a sequel to this piece on the timeless women who forged the west. Isabella of Castile, Abigail Adams, Eleanor Roosevelt. And more. Those stories need to be told today if we are to inspire women to aspire and men to desire a more timeless ideal.
100% saying no to beauty trends. I've never really cared about them and now in middle age, my entire focus is on being healthy for the long run--to live a non-trendy but flourishing life surrounded by those I love and focused on my values.
Why are abortions in that list? Unclear why you are mentioning them here and it seems really distasteful to put them in the same category as eating disorders and low self-esteem.
this is such an amazing piece ❤️ thank you for sharing, I absolutely want to shift the way culture looks at women
Thank you for your article!
I used to have an eating disorder myself but, long story short, I found the weights room and that was that. Even though I am unable to train at present, my 13-year obsession with digits on scales, or not eating for days, or eating miniscule amount, etc. is long gone. It has been gone for nearly ten years and I do not think it will ever come back. I try to help others, when they ask for it, as much as I can.
I am not qualified to speak re professional sports and the etiquette there but I think there is a shift in recent years whereby more and more women are lifting weights and looking after their health, striving to be strong rather than 'skinny' (also not disregaing people who have naturally thinner bodies). By and large, most are still slaves to the trends, as you point out, whatever those trends may be at any particular moment.
Now, what I do not excuse is people's blind following of those trends. You have mentioned it yourself but just because a trend exists does not mean people ought to follow it. We all have heads on our shoulders and, if you are an adult especially, you should reason with yourself. I do not believe in wholly blaming the media for our broken way of looking at ourselves, our ageing, the way we look. I also do not believe in paying more for a Snickers bar so that the masses feel deterred from eating sugar, in a governmental attempt to reduce obesity.
There seems to be this prevailing idea that it is always someone else's fault rather than the individual. But the individual has a responsibility to look after themselves and make informed decisions about their way of life (and this goes way beyond food). If someone decides to inject Botox in their face, that is their prerogative. They can sit and defend themselves by saying that Kylie Jenner made them but Kylie Jenner has failed to make many others inject Botox in their faces.
P.S. The most unkind comments and / or looks I have ever gotten have always been from women...(rather than men). Also, most women magazines that tells us what to eat, when, how feature articles by other women and are edited by women. Women, collectively as a group, need to take responsibility about the way we behave towards one another (rather than blame it on the other, i.e. men).
Just my two cents but thank you for raising some valid points and providing a platform for discussion.
"Real beauty is bedrock; not a matter of external, but internal, symmetry." Absolutely lovely.
Peeling back the curtain on that dichotomy of being a female athlete where strength and performance are critical and in competition with societal standards was eye opening.
I hope you’ll do a sequel to this piece on the timeless women who forged the west. Isabella of Castile, Abigail Adams, Eleanor Roosevelt. And more. Those stories need to be told today if we are to inspire women to aspire and men to desire a more timeless ideal.
Well done Grace!
100% saying no to beauty trends. I've never really cared about them and now in middle age, my entire focus is on being healthy for the long run--to live a non-trendy but flourishing life surrounded by those I love and focused on my values.
Your piece made me think of the book Strong Is the New Pretty: https://www.amazon.com/Strong-New-Pretty-Celebration-Themselves/dp/1523500689/
A friend gave this to my daughter when she was a tween and it's wonderful!
I shared this with my 18 year old daughter. She cried. She has such a burden about this issue at her young age. Thank you for your voice.
Why are abortions in that list? Unclear why you are mentioning them here and it seems really distasteful to put them in the same category as eating disorders and low self-esteem.